Watching football with a woman can be frustrating and strength draining if it's your wife. Some weeks back, I took time out to watch one of the English premier league matches at home during the weekend. I normally go to viewing centres to watch for the fun of it. But that day I stayed back home to watch not knowing that I had made a regrettable mistake. As the match was on, my wife came to join me. See problem! She asked; Is that Saint Obi? No, it is Mikel Obi. Saint Obi is a Nollywood Actor. I replied. Mikel Obi is smart, she said, he should be acting Nigerian films like his brother. He does not have a brother that is an actor. I told her. She jumped; See another goal within one minute. I told her, no. It is replay. It looks like Warri Wolves is going to win this match. It is not Warri Wolves, I said, It is Manchester City versus Chelsea. Why is the umpire calling for a Firing Squad na? She asked. He is called a centre referee and he is not calling for a firing Squad, I said calmly, controlling my annoyance and added, It's a free Kick. Did the spectators not pay for the tickets? Why is it a Free Kick? She asked. I did not bother to answer her. I just kept mute watching. Is the centre umpire now talking to his wife on the phone? She asked. No, he is communicating with his linesman, I replied. Why is he showing only red and yellow cards? Is there no blue card or any other card? My annoyance took the better of me and I went and off the television. She went and turned it back on and started watching Africa Magic. Who is this Ini Edo sef? I asked. She shouted; Listen to what they are saying and don't disturb me.
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